99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

So...about half and hour ago, Ryan and I are lying in bed ready to fall asleep for the night. After about 2 minutes, I say "I can't sleep." So Ryan decides to sing me a song to help me sleep. He picks 99 bottles of beer on the wall. At first I'm thinking, "perfect! this is a mundane song that will help me fall asleep perfectly." But then Ryan - my silly and hilarious husband Ryan - starts changing the words. At first he can't decide what drink to sing about and he keeps switching between beer, soda, Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, etc. Then he starts to get even sillier with things like: 95 bottles of beer on the wall....take one down, pass it to a clown.....take one down, pass it around but no one takes a sip so you put it back on the wall...take one down, but since everyone is mormon, they dump it down the drain...and so forth. I am laughing the whole time (and NOT getting anywhere near falling asleep.)

Anyway...Ryan stops at 89 bottles of beer and says that's enough and it's time to sleep. I told him that you can't just stop; you have to finish the song. He tells me that no one finishes that song and I took it as a challenge. So while Ryan tries to fall asleep, I'm lying there whispering the next several verses with the purpose of making it to the end or boring myself to sleep (either outcome sounded great to me).

However....I make it to 76 bottles of beer on the wall when out of the blue Ryan just starts talking. And what he said is soooo hilarious that I am now forgetting about falling asleep to blog about. It went a little something like this:

"Wait, wait, wait! What is going on here??? What are you guys doing with my beer bottle display??? Why are there 24 of my bottles lying around the room??? They aren't even filled with real beer! It's just colored water!! I worked really hard on this and you IDIOTS have ruined my masterpiece. Do you want to pass around my Picasso's next??? There's real beer in the fridge you know! It's like 7 steps away, but you insist on taking the beer off the wall. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Yep. 7 steps! Why would you take beer off the wall anyway?? Does that sound like a good idea?? You're not even drinking them. You're just passing them around! Each one of you has to touch all the bottles? Is that it??? Why ruin the display. It would have been soooo much easier to form a circle and take turns just touching all the bottles on the wall. Seven Idiots in a circle touching bottles on the wall! See I can sing a song too!!! And now I have to put 24 bottles back up on my display. AND YOU BROKE A BOTTLE!!!! How big of idiots are you guys???? I'm gone for 10 minutes and you destroy everything!!! Get out of my house!!!"

Not word for word, but you get the point. He just kept going on and on.

I LOVE MY HUSBAND!!! Funniest guy on the planet!!!! And he comes up with all his crazy stuff off the top of head too.

Well, time for bed. Let's see if I can fall asleep this time.